Who doesn’t love a good cinnamon roll? Friday, I spent most of the day preparing cinnamon rolls to bake and putting them prepared in the freezer. That night, I decided to bake a few for our student missionary (sm) get together. They turned out lovely, so I was excited to wake up Sabbath morning to share this treat with my girls.
First thing Sabbath morning I woke up and excitedly put the cinnamon rolls in the oven. Once they were golden brown on top and oozing of the cinnamon sugar, I placed them in bowls for my girls to enjoy not one, but two. As the girls excitedly asked to pray and began eating, they noticed something I had not, the middle of half of the rolls were uncooked. This is most likely due to our oven only having heat on the bottom and an uneven heat throughout. I had not planned on restarting the oven throwing them back in to finish in the nick of time. Instead of a yummy, sit-down meal it turned into a slight chaos of cooking and trying to get the girls out of the house in time for sabbath school; on top of that I burnt my arm re-lighting our gas oven.
Sunday morning after breakfast I was standing in the kitchen cooking lunch reflecting on the day before. Realization hit me, allot of times our lives can be like these cinnamon rolls. We think we have everything in place. Every aspect of what we have planned is perfectly in line and expected to run a certain way. But, at the end of the day it doesn’t always end up as we planned.
Last night, exhausted from a long day I needed sleep. Waking up at 2 am do to our 2-year-old little guy crying, was not my plan. After an hour, he had calmed down and I was sitting there holding his hand and singing to him when I was reminded God calls us to be love even the hard. Especially the hard! The easy times come naturally but the hard sleepless nights, the seemingly endless days, and the people who test your patience is when it is the hardest to love.
Arriving here in Bolivia I was so excited for this new adventure, a chance to draw closer to God, be His servant and do what I love working with kids and cooking all the time. Each day I have come to love it here a little bit more. There are times every day though that I feel stretched to the limit, being ignored, working all day to cook and clean then being told a simple task I give to the kids is too hard and hearing hours of whining. Choosing an focal point can make or break my day. Allowing God into my heart every day to be that focal point I have found is so important. When I let him take over I can see more and more through his eyes what he wants me to see. Children who need love and attention but do not know how to express it. They need to be taught through love, even when the hard long hours of questions whining, love, asking for attention, and inquisitively seems too much. With all of this, I still am second guessing myself not sure if I even understood them correctly because I am a beginner learning Spanish. Just like the cinnamon rolls being good on the outside but inedible in the middle, we can put on an outer face but choosing to allow God every day to be the center of our day will give us the positive outlook only he can give.
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