People and things to know for the story:
· Kelsey & Lauren: Houseparent’s for the little girls (Flores)
· Matthew: Houseparent for older boys (Guerreros)
· Sophia (Nurse)
· Emilie (my co-houseparent)
· Alayna (Sm who works as a teacher)
· Sm ( Student Missionary)
· Age range of girls in this story is 12-14
· Carola, Sarita, Edith (Edit*), Julia (Girls from my house "Las Lilas")
· Max ( Familia Feliz Director)
Why?
This question hung in my mind at 2:30 am in the morning one night last week. That day, I went to bed like every other night, hoping and praying to get the most sleep possible to prepare for another day of caring for my 19 kids. Laying in bed half asleep, I heard a knock on my door; the volume increased as I got out of bed and awoke my sleeping roommate, and then I opened the door to find Kelsey with her flashlight in hand. She quickly told me to check to see if all my girls were present because she had just seen a girl peeking through her window. Adrenaline hit, and thoughts flew through my head as I checked all the rooms, hoping all my girls were there! But the dreaded happened. I opened the door to find a girl missing from her bed, and then Emily realized two more. In total, we had three girls out of the house.
Frantic Search for Missing Girls:
Running outside, frantically searching, I found Matthew and Sophia already on the search, soon joined by Alayna as word quickly spread among the sms. We searched a nearby unused house on campus, the woods nearby. Then I heard the blessed sound, "They are all here." Here! Here! My girls were found! Where? They were seen walking across our bridge, dividing the girls from the rest of the campus. Then, the questions started flowing in my mind as I ran to them. Then, the anger and hurt started settling in. Why would they want to run away?
Girls Standing Outside waiting to talk to Max
Two nights ago, Emilie and I spent almost two hours talking to Carola and her sister, having a good bonding moment, laughing, chatting, and enjoying ourselves!
Sarita, I read to her and her sister every night, and they love it! Begging for me to stay as long as possible, we laugh, sing, and talk! She used to be a runaway but had not had an incident in so long and was the most apologetic girl in the house!
Edith, I have never known her to do anything significant contrary to what she was told! She has some of the highest grades in school and is one of my reliable girls!
Confusion and Concern: Unraveling the Girls' Intentions
With all these situations, I stood before the girls, confused. Why? Did they want to be with the boys? Well, they didn't because they were reported all in bed. Did they want to run away because they didn't like it here? Did I do something to make them hate it here? The first thing I said to the girls was, "What is this?" Why? The answer I was given was that they wanted to go to the store. That answer did not satisfy me.
The girls stood there surrounded by sms; we all were disappointed. Running away is not something we take lightly. Especially with the histories of two of the three, this may or may not be their last chance at staying here at Familia Feliz. As we stood there looking at the girls waiting for the director to arrive, Kelsey realized none of these girls looked like the ones peering through her window. That is when we started putting some pieces together. Emilie and I had seen these girls earlier that day. They were chatting in our backyard, except one of the girls in that group/click was missing here.
Julia: The same girl who was missing from that group when we checked the rooms had been chatting away with the girls in her room. She was also mad at Emilie for making her write an apology note not once but twice for bullying one of Kelsey's girls a few days prior.
After concluding that Julia must have been involved in this, too, we asked the girls standing outside if another girl was involved. They turned their heads away from us and refused to answer. We asked them again, but this time directly: Was Julia with you? One of the girls said, "Yes."
Immediately, Emilie went to get Julia. Who admitted on the way there that it was her idea. She wanted to go to the store, and initially, the idea had started as a joke. But she convinced them she knew a secret path they could escape quietly. Obviously, they were not smart about it and did not escape. Following this, each girl was taken to the director to tell their story. During the time in between, we did not allow the girls to talk with one another in case they decided to come up with a lie to tell.
They were brought together after each girl talked to the director and gave their story. They were reminded that they were free to leave if they did not like it here. Max reminded them they were blessed with a home, friends, love, and care, something many don't have. Two of the four girls, in their eyes, you, could see resentment. Unfortunately, the other two girls, all you could see was the hardness of heart.
The motive
was rebellion.
That night was a late night for Emilie and I as we stayed up with the director to discuss moving forward and proper discipline for these girls. Overall, Emilie and I felt sad. These girls did not want to go to the store because they needed anything. We had taken them two days prior. The motive was rebellion. That is what made us sad. What could we do better to not make them feel like they needed to rebel? Was it our parenting, lack of love, or sometimes short tempers? Or was it nothing but a bunch of pre-teens going through a rebellious stage? We tried to make them understand that their actions were not just a joke, but a serious breach of trust and safety, but it seemed like they didn't fully grasp the gravity of the situation.
Trusting God in the Midst of Overwhelming Need
Every day has so many questions for me here. I know how to navigate a whole new world full of kids who need so much, and I can only offer so little. This situation and many more remind me that I am not very wise. I really don’t know what to do with almost everything here. That is why I have to be 100% reliant on God. Nothing else but Him. Please keep me in prayer as I navigate an overwhelming need for love from deprived, attention-seeking kids. Your support and prayers are priceless in this journey.
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